EUNICE JI

SOMETIMES LOVE JUST AIN'T ENOUGH, in honor of Liu (Fat Cat)

Eunice Ji, June 10, 2024

I wrote this after crying so hard for the boy who jumped to his death because of a💔.
Pope Francis has issued a statement already about the moral righteousness of a divorce, i respect and honor that because he is correct in his decision/s as he always is. In fact he is the only pope fit for this era, i think. But, as my young dearly loved friend and i, continue to discuss on the matter of the divorce controversy i continue to hold on to my stand being against it.
"Life Teaches" was the print of a white over-sized shirt gifted to me back in the 90's. Maybe if i had not been from an experience of getting free, from a hellish marriage of 23 agonizing years, through a church nullification and afterwards civil annulment, i might have been a pro-divorce advocate also. Pero nga kasi i had to find ways to set me free (ayaw ng ex-husband, when i prayed for the help of his lawyer best friend na cousin ko, at bagkus ay nagalit pa daw dahil pinangingialaman s'ya. Very typical for a boy, who pretends to be a man, to have his cake and eat it, too. kalurkey!) and i was set free naman, salamat sa Diyos!🙏
Our life experiences and translations/interpretations of them are a great part of what make us unique from one another, thereby making the phrase "no two individuals are exactly alike. Not even an identical twins." true. When i was in the nullification process, i had with me a case at that same time whose basis for the nullification was psychological. At matagal na s'yang living-in with his partner. It pained them both not to be able to partake during communion rite in Holy Masses, lalo't may mga edad na rin. My basis nga pala was technical deformity. Sana kasi early kong nalaman ang sinabi ni Carl Jung about synchronicities. Talk about hard-headedness!😏(tama nga si Rick Price in his song title na ONLY HEAVEN KNOWS)
I still stand believing doon sa sinabi ng isang lawmaker na "we have enough, even maybe more than enough laws, na kailangan lang i-implement ng mabuti at maipaliwanag ng wasto sa publiko." So, feeling ko, why do we need pa more? i was also a battered wife then sa lahat ng aspeto: economic, psychological, physical, name everything there is. Nakalabas naman ako. If i did it, others also can.
Looking back, however, i realized that i really had to go through all those that i went through because i have a long task ahead of me. Living in here is definitely not about our age. Not how long we live, but how we conduct our lives to be able to sincerely contribute sa kung anuman ang pinagdaanan ko na pwede'ng makapagpabago ng pananaw ng iba for their own sake also, especially for their freedom.
At eto na nga, ginulantang ulit ang medyo mahimlay ko ng damdamin ng nakakalumong pagtalon ni Liu sa Shibanpo Yangtze River Bridge, whose body was found 12 days later pa. He jumped on April 11, this year. This got me crying all over again because i have a pressured-cooked heart for the young.
Flash back: after failing my marriage, i was trying so hard helping me get myself back not only for my children but for me mostly, as "i cannot give them what i do not have." ('yan kaya ang guiding principle ng mga katulad ko?), nang tiempo namang nagkahiwalay din ang anak ko at ang girlfriend n'ya since high school. "When it rains, it really does pour!" Nanadya ang panahon ng bonggang-bongga. i had to accompany him in his healing journey because sino pa nga ba? Meron pa bang iba? Eldest son ko nga pala s'ya. i would later learn, years after, na the cause of the break up was maternal intervention. In this 3-dimensional world, it would seem to me that most of what comprise us as One people (supposedly) is a hedonist attitude where money is god.
Nineteen years later, eto na naman, umulit s'ya: my third son and his lawfully-wedded wife separated due again to hedonism, leaving their only child with us (salamat sa Diyos may isang kaluluwa na posibleng mabago as "it is easier to raise a child than a broken man.") Sama ulit sa takbo ng buhay ng nangangailangang anak. But this one, because he is a "seeker", i was just so glad he intently listened to my inputs on human dynamics and psycho-kinesiology uniquely according to him and the estranged wife. Later on, when he was already able to maneuver back his own life, i dealt with his kid. We are living in this house na practically all the 4 of us are under a Leo sign, so one can only imagine the chaos kung pagbibigyan ang temperament ng bawat-isa under an ego-drive because of its ignorance! Kaya pala walang puknat ang "pagtawag" sa akin para mag-aral ng kung anu-ano in every possible ways that i can so i will understand. Praise God.
Liu's death was, more than my experience with my sons, i feel i can relate more because i was very young when i was heartbroken, too. Personal ang epekto more or less. First loves bring the deepest cut. But more so for Liu because he invested in a lot of very, very hard-earned money na mas kailangan sana ng naghihirap din n'yang pamilya (as revealed by his sister later). Woe unto him/her who cannot survive a first cut. But a great promise naman to who can. Laban lang sana.
Pero when one is born in a society where practicality is not balanced with spirituality, lalo naman when there is an absence of a support system inside a family, na pinalala pa ng self-controlled vulnerability, i can just cry for you so hard na hindi na ako magtatanong kung bakit. Kasi lahat pala tayo, when merged with divinity na ang pananaw sa pagmamahal, ay magmamahal na lang ng kusa kahit na anupaman. Undertanding is indeed a gift.
The 3D definition of Love will get anybody wasted in the end, i tell you all, guys, as it is only Love's divinity that won't wear off. Understand Love more in the context of the God inside you. Don't rush. Wait. i repeat: Solitude heals. You will know that in your heart. Promise.
Until sometime again, precious ones. Ciao.😘💕

IS THERE TRULY JUSTICE IN LEGALIZING DIVORCE?

Eunice Ji, June 2, 2024

Maingay ulit ang dalawang kampo, kaya nagpasya akong uriratin ang bagay na ito. But let me make it clear first that this is how i personally see/evaluate things involving this controversy. I come with no intention to affect anybody's opinion.
My young friend, of substance, sent me a private massage regarding this matter as we used to talk this way as officemates then. Magka-ututang-dila kami, despite our age difference, kasi sa mga bagay-bagay na gusto naming intindihin sa medyo malalimang pananaw o perspektibo. But this one got me into thinking deep that i need to google ano nga ba ang diperensya ng dalawa (annulment at divorce) talaga.
The following are Google's respective definitions for each: Very simply, "a divorce ends a legal marriage and declares the spouses to be single again."; while "an annulment is a ruling that erases a marriage by declaring the marriage null and void and that the union was never legally valid." Record-wise the marriage remain. There seemingly is a tinge of complication in the latter, isn't it?
In the grand tapestry of our unique landscape, marami nga ang papabor sa unang tingin nila sa diborsyo dahil normal na normal sa tao ang gustuhin at piliin ang madaliang pamamaraan para makalabas sa kung anumang hindi kagandahang sitwasyon na kanilang kinalalagyan. A human being is very naturally impatient. Gusto n'ya palagi ng instant gratification, 'yong tipong "i want this, and i want this NOW!" S/he does not believe that "great things take time." that therefore, there is something wrong in his/her belief system. Mayubay ang kanyang pananampalataya, hindi nakaangkla sa nakasaad sa libro at bersikulo Jeremiah 29:11.
"Broken women know how to love,
but not who to love;
broken men know who to love,
but not how to love."
The government is prone to side with the ephemerality of life and of the world kaya ang tutok nila ay nasa pang-ibabaw na kaanyuan ng mga pangyayari lamang, kaya normal din para sa kanila ang solusyunan ang mga bagay sa pinakamadaling pamamaraan. While the church goes a lot deeper than what is normally seen on the outside because it is concerned with faith; with belief. Kaya matagal at madugo muna ang pinagdadaraanan sa annulment process nito kasi both of the couple are given the benefit of the doubt, as members of one body of Christ.
I honestly think that the church is greatly concerned with what happens next after the divorce law is passed, as humans are prone to abuse also. Pag inabuso/naabuso yan, ang daming mga bata ang apektado sigurado. At mahihirapan tayong kayanin pa 'yan.
We are witnesses to multitudes of suicides committed by the young in the recent past. The main reason is usually love na buong akala lang natin ay out of romanticism kasi mababaw nga lang ang pagtingin at intindi natin. Pero kung alam natin at intindi ang tinatawag na human dynamics alam nating ang kawalan ng totoong pagmamahal sa sarili ang dahilan ng lahat.
The church is concerned with the family structure as a basic unit because true love begins in there. Kung patuloy lang na sisirain ang pamilya, rather than be given salient interventions to improve it, i wonder how many folds will be added sa mga sira na ngayon pa lang? To even think about the numbers gives me shivers.
In one of the sermons at a wedding, an officiating priest reminded of the newly-weds to be particular of how they, as a couple, bear with one another so that their resulting children will not be broken as it is very difficult to heal that sometimes they do not heal at all.
Generally, people are good at hiding how they are doing. Sometimes for fear of what might be said against them, na lalong pinabibigat kung hindi nila alam papaano ito sasabihin. Most of us are ashamed to show our vulnerability, so we keep living on seemingly agreeable facades. Life's been mostly a bitch for us. We grew up not knowing how to deal with them.
Unconsciously caught up by romanticism, people tie the knot, marry with eyes closed and enjoy the party. It's what mostly happens. Not with everybody, but very surely with the many. For how long the marriage stays only the two of them can guess.
Love takes time because it does not primarily involve one's three (3) lower energy centers or chakras. Dito muna sa energy centers ang totoong labanan ng bawat tao. Ang tinatawag na alchemical process that refines and purifies us para mabuo ulit tayo. Kaya ipinaalala palagi sa atin na "we are our own enemy." Na wala sa labas ang kaaway. When we commit to a marriage while still broken, we are naturally bound to produce broken children. The vicious cycle is doomed to go on until I don't know when.
Let me leave you then with the question as my title: "IS THERE TRULY JUSTICE IN LEGALIZING DIVORCE?" because when there is no justice, there is no peace. Promise.
Ciao, everyone.